8 obsessions I don't get

Today, I'm doing a quick, cynical, preachy rant about obsessions I don't understand. If one of these is your obsession, please feel free to explain it to me.

1. Vampires.

...especially abusive ones that sparkle, but also all these spin off TV shows.

2. Unicorns.

Planking is another obsession I don't get. But it's cute when
babies do it. :)

I like unicorns as much as the next girl, but why are they suddenly everywhere? Why is the world unicorn crazy? It's like living a Lisa Frank world. (Bonus points for 90's kids who know who Lisa Frank is.)

3. YOLO

Everyone since the dawn of time has known that they only live once. (Unless you believe in reincarnation, in which case this whole discussion must seem a little irrelevant.) Why do we need a cool new way to text that fact to each other? And why are we using as justification to shorten our already brief lives with stupid activities?

4. "Real" Housewives

First, in what ways are these women real? Second, why do we care so much about them? Third, why are there so many neighborhoods with shows about them? I'm holding out for real housewives of Loraine, TX.

5. Child pop stars/boybands

I was going to just say Taylor Swift and Justin Beiber, but then I remembered that there are now hoards of 10-year-old looking children who sing about things I didn't know about when I was 10. If you want to defend these kiddos, "I'ma let you finish," but personally I'd rather listen to grown ups.

6. Skanky men

This one really irritates me. Since when did women become creepers? Why are we watching stripper movies? Why are we fantasizing about fictional men in smutty books? We're drooling over musicians who change ball caps more often than lyrical phrases and actors with more muscles than facial expressions. There are real men out there, ladies. Nice, sweet, sexy men exist in real life. They have brains, ambitions, and passions just like we do. We've fought so long for men to recognize that we're people not just bodies. Why are we treating them as just bodies?

7. Trolling

I going to admit that I once trolled a person's status, and I didn't feel happy about it afterward. It was perfectly clear that I was kidding, and it wasn't about anything with any greater meaning. I still got a negative feeling from it. So what I'm getting at is, what is the draw? What is the benefit?

8. Pointless rants

This one I do get. It feels nice to rant a little. At the same time, I have no idea who is going to read this, or how it will do any good for anyone. But here it is, people. My very own pointless rant.

Homework Withdrawal: A Bizarre Sensation

Today I'm going to write about the weirdest sensation plaguing students this time of year, homework withdrawal.

I think you all know what I'm talking about.

H.W.W. plagues students every May as they attempt to cope with the dramatic life change that accompanies the final day of class.

Planking may occur in severe cases of H.W.W. If a student
you love resorts to planking as a result of H.W.W., please go
out and purchase a coloring book or jigsaw puzzle for them.

Symptoms include:

• sudden panic attacks over imaginary missed due dates
• chronically sensing that one is forgetting something
• boredom and excessive sleeping
• renewed interest in random old hobbies
• leaping out of bed at 9:15 before remembering you don't have class
• forgetting what day of the week it is

Other symptoms may also occur. (Feel free to comment additional symptoms below.)

I think what makes H.W.W. so severe in some instances is the abundance of studying, assignments and final projects leading up and throughout to finals week. During these final days of a semester the student's life is often utterly consumed with school. All-nighters are not uncommon, which lower the student's ability to retain long term memories. These elements combine to leave the student in a generally confused and disoriented state on the final day of class. This mode of existence sometimes takes weeks to recover from allowing the effects of H.W.W. to occur. 

Things that help with H.W.W.:

• vacation-leaving the setting associated with school work will help the student cope with the sudden change.
• spending time with someone who is not a student-This helps because that person can usually remind the student what day it is and help them feel some sense of normalcy about life.
• swimming, eating snow cones, and other summer activities-These activities help the student reconnect with reality outside of school.

This is not an exhaustive list of cures by any means. (This is another opportunity for you to include suggestions in the comments section.)

I would like to include that although H.W.W. is a bizarre sensation, it is not altogether unpleasant. Certainly the chronic feeling of paranoia about forgetting an assignment is uncomfortable, but it is not more uncomfortable than homework itself. The cure for H.W.W. is certainly more pleasant than doing homework, which is generally the cure for having homework.

If you suffer from H.W.W., remember you are not alone.