My first friend

For the first 90 seconds, I was cool 

Once upon a time, I ruined a young man's life.

He was just a month shy of his second birthday, and the world was his oyster. 

The apple of his parents' and grandparents' eyes, he could do no wrong. He was the master of the two-bedroom farm house, chaser of puppies, rider of horses, copilot of tractors and center of attention. 

Then I was born. 

At first it was exciting to have a little sister. But after about 90 seconds, that passed, and it was no good. 

Then I started stealing his toys and attention, and it was even worse.  

He tried everything to get them to take me back to the hospital I came from. 

Then he had second thoughts. 

He tried to stage a protest by eating a bug, but that didn't work. "Boys will be boys," they said. 

I wasn't sweet and obedient like he was. I disobeyed, talked back, threw fits and wanted everything to be pink. 

Can you imagine? Pink?! In his house! 

I was mean to him in ways only a sister can be. 

I wanted to do everything he did, and I wasn't quiet about it. 

He gave up eventually and even tried to humor me here and there. He gave me the second controller of his Nintendo, let me ride shotgun when he got his driver's license. He even let me come stay with him a week at a time when he went to college. 

My longest-lasting friendship

Ultimately, I think I get a lot more out of me being his sister than he does. But don't tell him I said it. 

His outgoing personality and positive reputation paved my way with teachers, helped me get a job and make friends. 

As much as I resented always being "Nathan's little sister," I'm not sure I could have done much better. 

He talked me through my first heart break, took me to buy my guitar and stood with me when I got married. 

His is my longest lasting friendship. 

A while back, he let me know he had started seeing this girl. He thought she was way out of his league, and he wasn't sure where it was headed so "don't tell mom and dad yet," he said.  

If I were a vengeful person, I might have conspired to bring mom and dad down for an awkward surprise visit to meet her, like he did when I first started seeing J. But I figured I owed him one. 

He told me that he had known this girl for a while, that she was beautiful, that he knew she was special, but he didn't think she would be interested in him. 

He was wrong, of course. 

A while after that, he started showing me a few rings she liked and asking a few questions about marriage. 

Those that know us both well, know that Nathan is the stylish one in the family, and he's also the one with all the relationship experience. So him asking for my input on his relationship and engagement rings was no small surprise. 

The fact that he wanted to marry Kara was no surprise at all. 

Based on all the years I've observed my brother's taste in girls, this list is a few of the things he would want in a wife. I marked through the ones he might have outgrown. 

• named Cindy or Cynthia  (For most of 3rd and 4th grade this was a high priority.)
• kind
• beautiful 
• passionate about agriculture
• wants a simple, meaningful life
• respects him 
• committed
• loves ninja turtles (This may still be a thing. I'm not sure.)
• makes him feel needed
• practical
• hardworking 
• open-minded
• loves cowboy movies
• bright
• challenging
• knows when to be silly and when to be serious
• bakes 
• prioritizes her faith and her family
• likes kids and dogs

Those of you who know Kara at all know she is pretty much the whole package. So I'll take this as my opportunity to thank her for helping restore the life I ruined almost 25 years ago. 

Thanks for looking past the all the swag and leather-scented air fresheners to see my brother for what he is: a loyal friend to those he loves, an ambitious advocate of what he believes in and a big ol' stupid head.